Wallowing

Just feeling a little down today, could be the weather, I don't know. I had a really bad day yesterday.

Paul and I went to the lawyer to get advice on a situation. Although the lawyer said we definitely had a strong case we needed to know what we were getting in to. Chances were that if we pursued and won a judgement in our favor, we would never see any money. If we chose to pursue getting our money it would mean time and effort on our part plus we would have to try and garnish wages and that could just be ugly. The lawyer said he wasn't trying to discourage us from going to court he was just trying to lay out all the facts since this was family we would be dealing with.

After we left, Paul and I stood outside and chatted a little about what we thought we should do. Paul said we should give it some time and think about it but I could tell he was feeling differently than when we first went in. Plus, he said he didn't know if we should go this far since he wasn't sure what the other party could be capable of.

Needless to say I was extremely frustrated! I came home and called my dad since I value my parents opinion. After telling me that I wasn't going to like what he had to say, he suggested that we just let the whole thing go. I was so mad and hurt. I spent most of the time on the phone with him bawling. I wasn't mad at him, I was so mad at the situation. This situation and many others with these people have been a constant issue in my life. The problems they have brought about in our lives has brought emotional and monetary stress. I felt like this was our opportunity to hold them accountable. Even if we never got money from them, I felt it was the principle of the thing.

So I wallowed yesterday. I wallowed in my frustration, I wallowed in my pain. I also wallowed in the fact that although I have met wonderful people here, I miss the deep connections I had with friends in California. Even though they are a phone call away, it was nice to be able to see them, go to coffee or just have them come over so I could vent. I did end up going to coffee last night with two friends and it was so nice. One friend in particular gave me some great advice and empathized with me! (Thanks Karen! You don't know how needed it was!)

So today I'm not feeling very "Tis the Season".....maybe tomorrow!